Hey

Sorry I have been gone for awhile. I've had a few people pass away in my life. I cannot even tell You how much my heart has been bleeding lately. A friend committed suicide her name was

Kelsey Andrews 1993-2013.

She was a sweet person. we had an ugly fight one so stupid I can never forgive myself for hurting her. I loved you Kels I still do and always will. I'll live for you and I'll make you proud. You dreamed of so many things and now your gone.

My heart hurts so much that your gone. so anyone thats had a friend commit suicide I truly feel for you I am so sorry for your loose I know you'll feel anger hurt a deep pain wonder what you did wrong You didn't do anything. There was nothing you could do I am truly sorry for you if anyone has had this happen to them stay strong friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5_CvRH1F7U Just a pick me up for y'all :)

A few songs of the night.

Demon Hunter. My Heartstrings come undone > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_93IbHtE2is

Bullet for my Valentine. Tears dont fall > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWxqd90-XWI

Broken. By Amy Lee and Seether > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeI4Ft8P7ks

Cold By Crossfade > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk

Creed. One last breath > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vNJwR2vVOk

My own prison > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP4G8_alAT4

anger

So I want to get this off my chest I am sure some of you are going through this... In my house it should be a time of unbelievable happyness and everything should be well and right. But lately all there is. Is anger and hurt/heartache tears. I feel this boiling rage and I feel like I am just going to loose it I am usually calm and never quick to anger but boy I am So very angry right now Its burning from deep inside I do not like this feeling and I know I shouldn't let this anger dwell...
 God I'm SOO Angry take it from my heart.

Demon Hunter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlmXLK6o_CU

Netflix

Do any of you have Netflix because I have a few shows you should watch that is on there :)

The one guy Charlie is so smart. It's pretty intense show he solves cases with Math his brother  Don who is the main FBI special agent. All around its a very interesting show :)

Burn Notice, Bones, Hell on wheels, Breaking bad, Eureka and Longmire which i just watched it was pretty good but had some sexual content in it pretty much all the shows do though unfortunately that stuff is just in everything which i think is lame :P

Okay this show is really funny Psych just watch the first episode let it get into it about 5/10 minutes and you'll be hooked :) 

And another show you should totally watch is ( Drum roll!! )

It only has one season. but so far I like it just started it today cause I was bored after running around this morning I may be closing tonight but I am not sure I'll find out in about 15 minutes :)

;)

Kiss it all better > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXPx8b4rgko

Fall > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJV47hqleD0

Too Beautiful > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgBbYwaXUXw

Pardon me > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NttbSaQ7I

I wouldn't mind > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX18lsdHMMY

Prove you wrong > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMEre9gEs-U

=) Hey people :) hope your all having an amazing week!

Demi Lovato. For the love of a daughter > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K59KsIDlif8

Beyonce. Schoolin life. > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAmnkPUFMHg

1+1 > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U5gUKCQ8XY

Rihanna. >  > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVYNI6D8VIA

Emblem 3. > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uoF_37kgiM

Curious > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_UTaR_nEJc

Reason > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq_1gxLVeLE

Parachute. Forever and always > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0pbW-fUWLI

Kiss me slowly > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7RbBB-lT5o

She (for liz) > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb1ylimfapA Love this song.

She is love > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrVYjJmNmo

Chad's Awesome song > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfMHbZKeXnI

Sick Puppies. Riptide > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVti3acinqs

What are you looking for > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzsvliUOxh0 LOve this song :)

Anywhere but here > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO_taCi1xJY

So what I lied > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtAkdXX4pG4

Theory of a dead man. Not meant to be > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibyIsQX2V_s

Sixx Am. This is gonna hurt >  > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAw-EFuwC3A

life is beautiful > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjX2KYuAJcA

Lies of the beautiful > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4ujSV5Y2oc

Random time :)

The Proposal. You should all watch this movie it was really good there's one part where the grandma and mom take Sandra out to lunch or a surprise something just skip its a bad scene Yeeee Be warned! >>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjNgADUZNHo

They do swear,,, Sh** Asian Moms say > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HP2escR3qQ

Sh** Asian dads say > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5MJbZ4l4J8

Asian beating > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLP9dL5tG6M

Connor Franta. Random Swag > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfDFJycR4QM

Random Swag 2 > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP8KNAhyvdY

Random swag 3 > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwqPCgjSepM

Random swag 4 > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XcXRAWp70U

Things not to do when you like someone > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpThnXVQYag

You deserve better > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBjtQTsS5ng

Hawthorne Heights. This is who we are > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgrMMGUA77c

Stuff/Music ;)

Starting over. 

We can all press replay on a movie but we can't in real life we go through things we wished never happened but if we learn from those things how can we not be better then before stronger braver fearless in the truest sense with our best friend by our side. 

Don't quit something you were born to start.

Stop running from the past embrace it deal with it and move on!

See those trials and realize your a better person now and you know how to never treat someone or something.

Nothing is worthless! No matter how it looks or how someone feels stop acting like its not your problem. 

Embrace Others and show them you care and will listen with an Open Heart.

Don't Judge others. James 4:11-12 11 Speak not evil of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. 12 there is one lawgiver, who is able to save and destroy who art thou to judgest another?

Living is not meaningless. It never is life is exciting if you make it that way its all how you look at the world. Some of the world is corrupt. But as it says in the Bible in later days Kingdom will be against Kingdom brother against brother and neighbor against neighbor. 

Life's gonna be Cray Cray :-P

Chainsaw > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSgT-odLFjQ

Supersonic > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yEy7QRo4bw

Drama Queen > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCfOjYaaSQ0

Dang girl > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIBcIv5vcXA

Zombie > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvKqcBvFlxg

Cray Button > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uayvcVYNfQI

Cray Button. Ft Lecrea :) > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_zP4Wfvjyg Love this version way more!! :)

Radiator > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHh5iDfkYvE

Love Addict > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6I3A0gJuhQ

Wobble > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFOx2kcu2uE

Fever > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q5IUcgbOXs

I Love Love Family Force 5!!! :)

Evans Blue. This Time it's different. > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut3LylmU89Y

Beg > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW6-drb72CQ

Erase my scars > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV2o2pwwbpI Love this song <3 ;)

Ah

I just realized something Connor Franta looks a lot like my ex O.o

Creepy cray cray oh well. I still love Connor :)

How to deal with hate online. > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gcIVpGNJk0&list=UUudeRz9YntRrmKBSqnHyKGQ

AAH and does anyone else think JC. Cayley looks like Eli manning?

You can tell the difference but just saying :)

So Side note aaaaaaaah I'm so freakin bored its 11:45pm I should be sleeping but i am just not tired :-P And my minds running :) To many good idea's on my book to sleep yay creative mind :) 

Just watch all of Connor Franta and Jc and Rick Dillon lol :) Have fun!!

Beauty. 

If beauty is skin and outlook why do we all strive to be beautiful or think were not. I know I do a lot I always think I am ugly or fat and I'm 5'4 120 pounds. so I am not fat everyone I know says I am so skinny or fit one person said I needed to gain a little weight. but yeah I wanted to do a poem on this so here we go :)

Beauty is nothing Beauty is meaningless If you want Beauty make yourself Beautiful inside and it will shine outwards Beauty is what every person wants and strives for to be that perfect something. to be flawless like society wants we as Christians believers were meant to be different and not of this world. So I don't wish to harm you but Beauty isn't worth your soul or causing danger to yourself because I know you can be the most beautiful person ever just by being a better you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder loving Beauty is like loving money empty and hollow you may lust after it. but it'll never be 

 ( Love )

I'll Admit it to you guys I hide behind names and pen names. I get extremely nervous when people read what I write But I am starting to come out of that shell a little :) 

I hope you all have a blessed night :) .... James 4:12